Effective Workplace Relations
How would your professional life change if 100% of the relationships
involved were positive, productive and profitable? Although this sounds a
bit idealistic, you can strive for great workplace relations by using some
of the tips and techniques described throughout this article.
Positive workplace relations rely on three skills:
- Having a good understanding of the person (people) that you have
relations with;
- Seeking first to understand others and then to be
understood (Empathetic Listening); and
- Using positive communication
strategies.
Good Understanding
Having a good understanding of others helps us
adjust our behaviour to be able to get along well with them, thereby
building good rapport. Understanding someone's uniqueness can be
accomplished by having an awareness that people have different personality
behavioral styles. Each of these styles has distinct, predictable and
observable behaviour patterns. Once you understand these personality
styles, you will have the ability to get along with almost anyone.
Personality style studies have been around for years. There are several
modalities, however the one I personally choose to share with my audiences
is that of Dr. Tony Alessandra, where four dominant behavioral styles are
Director, Socializer, Thinker or Relator. If we take the advice of Dr.
Alessandra, we can adopt a rule more superior to the old golden rule,
namely the Platinum Rule. It says, "Do Unto Others As They Would Have
You Do Unto Them", or more simply stated "Treat Others As They
Wish To Be Treated".1
Once you learn about the characteristics of each dominant personality
style, you can quickly learn to read the person with whom you are dealing,
and make minor adjustments to your own behaviour to relate better with
that person. For example, a Director style is very direct and to the point
in their communication. Their key desire is results. So if I am
approaching a Director in a conversation to request money for my budget, I
would use a strategy of being direct and showing them how giving me the
money would benefit the bottom line results. I.e. "Bob, I need
another $5,000 by Friday to ensure that we have the infrastructure in
place to accommodate the large volume of sales projected by our sales
department." Short, sweet, and to the point, indicating the results
with the request - just as a Director wants to hear it. I am in a much
better opportunity of being successful with my request if I meet my
audience on their personality style turf, even though I may be of a
different personality style. This is more positive, more productive and
much more profitable. Try it! First you will need to learn more about
personality styles, however as you learn to listen for clues from other
people, the better trained you will become at reading people before
engaging in conversation. This leads us into the next step to good
relations - Empathic Listening.
Empathetic Listening
"The dialogue of the deaf", as described
by Dr. Stephen Covey in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, indicates
that most of the time we don't communicate, we just take turns talking.
Since the basic need of a human being is the need to be understood,
listening is more important than talking when in conversation with
someone. Real empathic listening means that you are doing more than
hearing someone's words. It means that you seek to understand what they
are saying and will provide feedback once you have heard what they are
telling you. This ensures that you understand what has been said and that
the person speaking feels like they have been understood. When we feel
that we have been understood, we are likely to feel better about the
relationship, resulting in more productive relations. The next time you
have an opportunity to communicate with someone, tell him or her that you
would like to listen to them first, giving you the opportunity to gain a
good understanding of what they are communicating to you. Once you offer
feedback to what you have heard, and the speaker feels that they have been
understood, you will be in a good position to begin the final step of
building strong and positive relations - Positive Communication.
Positive Communication
Positive communication is productive because it
fosters some of the key fundamentals of successful workplace relations
including, trust, honesty, integrity, nurturing, productivity, and
satisfaction. At this point in your communication with someone you would
have an understanding of their personality style, and have empathically
listened to them making them feel that they have been understood. Forming
positive messages is more attainable when you can 'begin with the end in
mind', meaning you have an idea in your mind of what the positive
relationship would look like. Once you have this goal of the communication
in mind you are in a better opportunity to attain that goal. Strategies
recommended for positive relations include making the other person feel
good about themselves and their contribution. People feel good about their
employment when they are recognized in a positive and genuine way.
Therefore, positive communication can start with a genuine compliment and
carry forward from there. I like to use the "sandwich technique"
when communicating something that is constructive, which sandwiches the
constructive criticism between two genuine positive statements. See an
explanation of 'The Sandwich Technique' in my article "It's what you
Say and How You Say it".2
To recap, these positive workplace relations techniques - understanding
who it is you are communicating with, empathically listening to them
first, and returning some positive communication - your relations are sure
to be more positive, productive and profitable. Although these points are
pretty much common sense, they are not necessarily common practice. Make a
conscious effort to put them into play in your workplace and your personal
life, and reap the benefits that strong and positive relationships have to
offer.
Best wishes for continued success.
Positively,
Penny Tremblay
- Visit http://www.platinumrule.com/assessment.asp
to learn more about the Platinum Rule and personality styles.
- http://www.northernlightspresentations.com/articles/ItsWhatYouSayANDHowYouSayIt.pdf
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